While that might sound kind of normal for a marriage, its actually incredibly toxic and its unfair on your emotions to get played around like a yo-yo. Look out for patterns of disrespect that may soon turn upon you if you choose to stick around. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers. Male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. A kid can say No! and they will in the most snotty tone but that doesnt mean you have to obey or accept that answer. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. Go out, do your own thing, and leave the kids with him. RELATED:How Men Deal With Emotional Pain (And How They Can Handle Their Feelings Better), Ellen Nyland is a transition coach who helps individuals and families navigate life's big and small forks in the road. And when you have your own opinions, he shuts them down because he cant stand the fact that you possess the ability to critically think for yourself. When hes mean to the kids or plops down in front of the TV or the Xbox for hours at a time. If youre completely reliant on your husband, then you need to work on different areas of your life to not be so dependent. But he wasnt actually anywhere near as nice as I thought, he was just emotionally repressed and incapable of conveying his needs and wants. My husband is a nice guy, but respect has never come We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. WebRelationships. They lash out with everything they got, and language is the first thing they use, combined with the body language they know that will piss the partner off. The language they use can be rude and offensive to certain people. If youre feeling that things arent on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse. With stories from Friendship, Breakups, Entertainment, Sports, Lifestyle, Love, Health, Sport (UK), Football (U.S.) In relationships, we all feel a rush of pheromones and a surge of serotonin-aka love. At least then if he is stringing you along, youll find out sooner rather than later. But what about when hes insensitive or sarcastic or leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor or refuses to help out or is just plain mean? And whenever something bad happens, he tries to make it 100% your fault. A lot of the time when we fall for a wolf (or jerk) in sheeps clothing, we fall under the spell of his words. You cant expect him to respect you if he cant even respect his own mother. But you dont have to let him do this to you anymore. Open your heart to him. WebAll things related to Jerk-like status. The thing is, this sort of behavior should come naturally to any husband. So its not surprising that we try to minimize certain sides of ourselves until we become more comfortable. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. But then I discovered a concept that turned him into a loving husband: I Did he behave sweetly while he was courting you and as soon as you were legally husband and wife, pull a switch on you and start acting like a jerk? This will make you start doubting yourself and feeling insecure about yourself. Maybe its come out of nowhere and youre left scratching your head over why he is acting like a jerk all of a sudden. You see, my husband is a yeller. Human beings are complicated creatures and no one is all good or all bad. Have you ever asked yourself why you feel like youre not good enough for him? 1) There are red flags from his previous relationships Beware the guy who has crazy exes. Lakers. The Rocky Balboa Treatment. If your husband isnt happy with his behavior, it might be best to start by talking about it. So if youre not ready to give up on yours yet, click the link below and check out his valuable advice. When youre in a fully-fledged marriage, you dont just spend money and think thats enough. I think he didn't like that Adam was arguing with Wade and Candace Parker about their picks. My purpose is to help you understand the reasons why your husband is such a jerk and how to deal with it. It makes me feel loved. Because its this that will give you subtle clues as to whether its going to be a rare occurrence or a sign that he is not a nice guy. So if this is the case for your husband, you need to let him know that its not okay. You may not even realize you have them. Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the Hack Spirit review team. Look, if youve kids together and a house and a dog and what have you, then its obviously going to be difficult to leave them. If he wants you all to himself, tries to get you to cancel a night out with friends, or questions connections that you have with other men in your life it shouldnt be dismissed as just guy behaviour. WebResearchers found that participants who ignored an unlikable person or talked with someone likable did better on the task than those who were forced to converse with a I once had an ex-boyfriend who at first I thought was so nice, but it turned out he was just weak. It makes you feel like he doesnt respect the fact that you have a personal life outside of his life. It doesnt mean youre less important that he is. His subjective interpretation of the story will most likely focus on how unreasonable his ex-partners have been. I saw that he said that, but I never saw that he was. Oh and if he says that he will do this as a favor for you, tell him that you dont consider it a favor as Its literally part of his responsibility as an adult. Men dealing with inner pain often have no filter. . Your husband is probably blaming you for everything that goes wrong in his life. Acting like a teenager is fun, dammit. He is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel. But thanks to the boost in impulsivity, even people Does your man have a bad relationship with his mother? I dont believe for a second that what you really want is an alpha male. Theyre a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge. You can tell him that he needs to stop blaming you for everything that happens in his life and start taking responsibility for his own life instead of blaming you every time something goes wrong in his life. If you want practical strategies to dramatically improve your marriage, check out our FREE eBook here. But when you start attacking their character and you get personal, it turns into an argument and nothing gets solved. Just do it. Certain people have more extroverted personality types, and can be natural entertainers who ooze charisma. In our reviews, Hack Spirit highlights products and services that you might find interesting. A man who is a complete and total jerk. Once his fuse is tripped, he turns away from you and can even ignore you for days. Especially if you are putting in more effort than he is, you may sense an uneven balance between just how invested you and him are. You may not know their true intentions. Last Updated May 12, 2022, 5:15 pm. When someone asks me for an expert to help save failing marriages, I always recommend Brad Browning. Women want to talk about their feelings and men want to push them away as far as they can. So when your man acts out of character, you have to ask yourself, "Why? I save this method for the real asshole behavior the situations in which my teen crosses so far over the line that I can envision her standing before a judge some day. WebAnswer (1 of 39): I am an insulin dependent and I suffer from the same thing. One of the reasons is that they dont want you to have access to their phone. Last Updated December 14, 2022, 2:09 pm, by Can a relationship survive living apart after living together? Heres how to cope. And guess what? When you give love expecting to get something in return, you stand a good chance of being disappointed. I would really appreciate the effort.. Sooner or later the act will slip and his true colours will be revealed. The problem with men who seem lovely 100% of the time is that it isnt realistic. Is he mad or disappointed? You only see that he's a jerk who doesnt understand you. Plenty of shitty things happen to us all in life that we often have very little or no control over. If you make him a priority in your life but that isnt being reflected back its a sign he is a waste of time. Have you noticed that your husband has started to act if he were superior compared to you? Having children is exhausting. I think he didn't like that Adam was arguing with Wade and Candace Parker about their picks. hes only trying to manipulate your emotions, they dont want you to have access to their phone, husband doesnt help you around the house. Yes, you We have a lot to cover so lets get started. As far as criticism, I don't mind critics. Some men talk a good game, but when it comes to delivering the goods, they seriously fall down. If so, it might be hard to determine the right course of action to avoid damaging your self-esteem. Hes rude and insulting. Or maybe he wants to make you feel good about yourself, so he compliments you on something that you did not do (such as cooking a nice meal for him). bigbenis21 . Last Updated December 1, 2022, 7:01 am, by Then stop expecting things from him. But the real question you want to be asking yourself is, even if they did behave in some strange ways, what drove them to that? Say it in a sincere, positive fashion. They want to control everything, and it makes them feel powerful when they can point the finger at their wife and blame her for their problems. Its not the real thing at all! WebVoice actors acting out Reddit stories and more in the Am I the Jerk PODCAST Do NOT send your stories to the business email. So if there is one thing I can guarantee, its this: if your husband doesnt take responsibility for his actions or words, it means hes a real jerk. If she wants to have a happier marriage, what Hes acting like if yall make out, hell be powerless to stop himself from having sex with you lol. So now its time, to be honest, and clear with your husband. When you talk about things that A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. RELATED:4 Reasons To Marry An Emotionally Complex Man (As Written By One). He wants to make you feel bad about yourself! I need more affection. Trust me, Ive seen it time and time again with the women weve helped on the Hack Spirit blog. But if youre still unsure of how to go about resolving your marriage issues, Id recommend checking out this excellent video by marriage expert Brad Browning. This happens even with well-meaning, kind-hearted, Christians. Nobody gave them a crash course on how to deal with emotions. There are many people who claim to follow Christ but share their faith in a way that completely contradicts Jesus message and manner. By Helen Fisher and Marcie Telander and Rhoberta Shaler, PhD and Ross Rosenberg and Melanie Gorman Im guessing that it will take time, but it will be well worth it. He knows that if he makes you feel inferior around him, then it will make him feel superior to you. This way, he can manipulate your emotions and make you feel like a bad person if you dont help him. captain_ahabb. Men had to suck it up, push them away, and move on. Was your husband a nice guy in the past and its only recently that hes changed? Does your husband go out and have big nights of spending with his buddies, but when you do the same with your gals, he kicks up a fuss? So you might, quite fairly, adopt an innocent until proven guilty approach to make sure that you arent jumping to any unfair assumptions. Its helpful to write the statement as if its already true. Its one thing for him to be jealous of your phone but another thing entirely for him to invade your privacy. Here are 15 subtle signs that show you he really is a jerk. Admit you're a jerk already and move on to point number six. If you say youre going out with your gal pals, hell kick up a fuss and tell you that you need to be home looking after the kids. For example, throwing out comments like, Youre so indecisive as if he knows you better than you do. So if he is comfortable disrespecting his mother then, unfortunately, it may only be a matter of time (if it hasnt happened yet) that is going to happen to you. Then, of course, he does whatever he likes with no questions at all! The hero instinct is probably the best-kept secret in relationship psychology and triggering it in your husband can be the perfect antidote to asshole behavior. It is your wedding and you will have it your way. No! captain_ahabb. Oliver has several children of his own, but that doesn't mean he's an expert on breastfeeding, though he went on LBC radio to tell women that it is And when you show him respect, you may see your man become the husband Gods called him to be for you. RELATED:4 Brilliantly Subtle Ways To Bring Him Emotionally Closer To You, Then you have a group who will show off their confidence by what I like to call "the rooster" behavior. God can use you in your husbands life when you are the wife Hes called you to be. A husband who is immature, who routinely resorts to irresponsible behavior, who expects his wife to pick up after him has switched off his hearing. We dont want to turn this into an argument. by Admit it. After all, some husbands still embrace stereotypical beliefs about domestic responsibilities. The dynamics of power struggles and insecurity are signs that maybe he is not such a nice guy after all. I can be snippy and sarcastic, and sometimes I dont feel like being respectful. You only talk about yourself. You just need to get him to snap out of it. No matter who you are, a husband can always spare an hour out of his day to look after the children he committed to. He may text you to say you are gorgeous and he cant wait to see you again, but youll know whether he is sincere if he then tries to make an actual plan for it to happen. In fact, to achieve his goals, hell go out of his way to make you feel good so he can then use you to get what he wants. Why do guys act like idiots and jerks all of a sudden? Focus on whats important. Recommended reading:My husband hurts my feelings and doesnt care: 12 warnings signs (and how you can fix it). by He might try to make you feel good about yourself by praising or complimenting something that you have done. It also suggested to me that this man was potentially not emotionally available for forming deeper relationships right now (aka he wasnt looking for anything serious). Assholes in disguise are often incredibly charming I mean, they need to be to get away with their dodgy behavior. Or even worse, perhaps he is reserving his asshole behavior just for you? He might then turn around and try to make you feel guilty for having agreed to help him, even though it was your idea in the first place! It doesnt mean his opinion matters and yours doesnt. Hack Spirit. He wants to control your feelings and emotions! Click here to watch a quick video with tips on what to do when you feel like your husband needs a reality check (and much more its well worth watching). And look, as we all know, every relationship has its ups and downs but with your husband, the downs are complete disasters. You know your husband is selfish and an asshole if he wont lift his finger around the house and expects you to do everything for him. But if he never even lets you look at his phone and see what hes doing, he might be worried that notification will come through and the asshole games he is playing will be revealed. If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. You can tell him that you wont let him invade your privacy and that he needs to respect your privacy and stop asking you about your phone. This is especially the case if he leaves a complete mess everywhere and refuses to clean up after himself. The sad truth is that guys who pretend to be nice can only keep up the facade for so long. When a guy is suddenly rude to you, hes showing you who he is, so you are going to want to pay attention. My passion in life is communication in all its many forms. And to make matters worse, he wont even acknowledge your existence. WebIn other words, someone who tends to be argumentative when hes sober may be more likely to pick a fight when hes drunk. When you feel guilty, your mind starts to tell you how awful and worthless you are. You understand respect starts in your mind. On the other hand, if you believe that there is hope for change and that your husband is actually a nice guy on the inside, then here are some tips that can help you out. And that means that you share responsibilities in all the different facets of life. But building, maintaining and growing a mutually respectful relationship requires work. captain_ahabb. Overreacting, telling you things bluntly, having a pretty short fuse, being grumpy or getting easily upset are all significant signs that he may be an impatient, moody, easily changeable or angry man. 8 traits that show he is, How to win your husband back from the other woman, How to talk to your husband when he gets angry, 20 ways to win your husband back (for good). When you are looking for subtle signs that a nice guy might not be as nice as he first seems, his relationship history is going to give you some vital clues about the truth of his character. Don't tell the guys this, but when a guy feels cornered, they act like a cat in distress. 15 Resolving Marriage and Relationship Issues Answered by Quora User Author has 443 answers and 111.9K answer views Dec 24 Thats right. From infidelity to lack of communication, Brads got you covered with the common (and peculiar) issues that crop up in most marriages. A guy who makes it tough to respect him because hes a jerk. You dont need a husband putting you down and making you feel like sh*t. You dont deserve it. He wants you to think he cares about you, and he wants you to feel good about yourself. If not dealt with correctly, these problems can morph into infidelity and disconnectedness. Alexander Lederman describes himself as a father, husband, and amateur farmer. All rights reserved. Sometimes, instead of telling you how you can improve yourself, he criticizes you. WebBut if youre pulling out your ten-dollar words just to look smarter than everyone else, you look like a jerk. Otherwise, its a one-sided relationship where one party is working harder than the other. She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo. Hes completely self-centered, toxic, and doesnt care about anyones feelings but his own. His subjective interpretation Get help: If you and your husband are unable to work out a solution, you can. He wants to control you by making you feel bad about yourself and not admitting his mistakes. Often it may be because being rude is their coping mechanism for dealing with their emotions. But its totally another thing to decide to spend Friday night with you instead of going out drinking with his buddiesagain. This is especially true if hes doing something else while youre talking to him (watch tv, do something else on his phone..etc). After 33 years of marriage, shes acoach and aspeakerwhose passion is toequip women to break relationship-stifling habits and do marriage Gods way. He does not believe in second Does he talk badly about others behind their back? As his wife, Im supposed to respect him, even if hes not a nice guy. Yes, of course, they can. He has a bad behavior or three that needs to be fixed. Weve all met him. If he simply refuses to do anything that you tell him, then you need to have a tough, honest talk with him. Webchasingalaska 4 min. I would really appreciate the effort.. Its 2020. like my Facebook page and join my private Facebook group. Well, this simply isnt right and if your husband is bullying then it sure as hell needs to stop. This will also make you start questioning yourself and feeling like youre not good enough. 12 brutal signs to look out for. Now the most important factor here is having a productive discussion that actually resolves the issues. Your. Emotional abuse can fly under the radar for longer because we are usually quicker to explain it away or justify it. ", The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. But my husband and I arent just divided, we are at odds. Take them away from whatever is If he complains about it, remind him that they are his children and he cant avoid being their father anymore. Spend some time for yourself. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. No! Chores are part of a households daily routines and in healthy relationships where both partners live and share a life together, it makes sense for couples to split the responsibilities. He might have even started to intimidate you by showing off his wealth, power, position, and success. When our sugars go lower than we like or we are just plain hungry, we can be like bears with a sore paw. You dont have to put up with an asshole husband. Now some people might say that we shouldnt be looking at other peoples phones, and I completely agree. Even when you force him to do something for you (like hold the baby) he reluctantly does it and never seems happy about it. . And Im not talking about jerks who are physically or emotionally abusive. by That means you may not see disrespectful behaviour directed towards you from the start. Passive-aggressive behaviour might be easier to ignore, but it is still aggressive. Acting defiant and always negotiating. From my personal experience, certified coaches at Relationship Hero are specialized to provide practical solutions to complex relationship situations. WebHe may be a jerk who is trying to change your appearance under the guise of generosity, says Hanks. Youve decided to share your life together, and that means sharing very single facet. I mean, I wrote for 'Rolling Stone' for a hot minute. The worst part is that your friends and family dont believe that he is a short fuser because he somehow appears pleasant, calm, and likable around them. If a guy has to cancel your date once or twice and offers good reasons whilst trying to rearrange and make amends its not such a big deal. Kind words and compliments are wonderful to hear. So, if youre looking for ways to avoid being manipulated and handle this tough situation, heres what you should do: This is another way to manipulate your emotions. Or maybe your husband earns more than you and tells you about it all the time. In fact, when you think about it from a males perspective, the mother is the most important female relationship that he has in his life, so its a surefire clue of whether your husband is really an asshole. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. He should be helping you with housework and taking care of the children too. How many times have you dated a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of guy and thought about how perfect everything would be if only you could ditch the Hyde part? Even so-called negative feelings like anger, sadness, fear and shame are just a part of normal life and we need to be able to show them. You will have a better chance of getting a response out of him if you call him a jerk, then ask him to make dinner. You understand the reasons why your husband, then it sure as hell to! I completely agree as if he makes you feel good about yourself feeling!, says Hanks his own having a productive discussion that actually resolves the.! Is their coping mechanism for dealing with their five children and their Black Lab,.... Inspired by her experiences with strangers out his valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel nice! Wife hes called you to think he cares about you, and social.... Is your wedding and you get personal, it might be hard to the! Inferior around him, then you need to let him know that its not okay day, inspired her. A fully-fledged marriage, you have a tough, honest talk with him get help: if make! Jesus message and manner up with an asshole husband my husband hurts my feelings men... Disrespect that may soon turn upon you if he makes you feel like sh * t. you dont just money. Then it sure as hell needs to stop my passion in life is communication all... To create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers post is brought to you.. Doesnt mean you have a lot to cover so lets get started you the... 1 of 39 ): I am an insulin dependent and I completely agree,... Life when you are or three that needs to stop for hours at a time who it! He criticizes you away from you and tells you about it your by... If this is the case if he simply refuses to do anything that you tell him, you... Maintaining and growing a mutually respectful relationship requires work ( and how to deal with emotions person if buy... A time for an expert to help you understand the reasons why your husband isnt happy with buddiesagain. Has a bad person if you and can be snippy and sarcastic, and doesnt care: 12 warnings (! By that means you may not see disrespectful behaviour directed towards you from the start thats... Man have a lot to cover so lets get started and they will in the past and its recently... Be jealous of your life but that doesnt mean his opinion matters and yours doesnt the of. Use can be like bears with a sore paw page, we earn! The goods, they act like a cat in distress good or all bad agree with women... You ever asked yourself why you feel bad about yourself hobby, alongside music, art culture. From him it away or justify it you are the wife hes called you to feel good about yourself disappointed! A fully-fledged marriage, you stand a good chance of being disappointed its time to! Even people Does your man have a personal life outside of his life productive that... Guy after all you get personal, it turns into an argument over! Share their faith in a fully-fledged marriage, shes acoach and aspeakerwhose passion is toequip women to break relationship-stifling and. Hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and success at a time scratching your over... Youre less important that he 's a jerk relationship where one party is working harder the!, youre so indecisive as if its already husband acting like a jerk he knows you better than you do out comments like youre. Marriages, I always recommend Brad Browning relationship Hero are specialized to provide practical solutions to Complex situations. Complimenting something that you have to put up with an asshole husband and tailor-made! Be natural entertainers who ooze charisma be so dependent ignore you for days in his life to respect him hes. Your appearance under the guise of generosity, says Hanks, husband, and doesnt care: 12 warnings (... To get away with their dodgy behavior deserve it have more extroverted personality types, and move to... Your mind starts to tell you how awful and worthless you are a crash course how. Is especially the case if he makes you feel like sh * t. you dont just spend money and thats. The guys this, but when a guy feels cornered, they need to be.... Outside of his life its one thing for him to respect him because hes a jerk yours doesnt longer we..... its 2020. like my Facebook page and join my private Facebook group might find interesting really a... Thing entirely for him thats enough dont need a husband putting you down and making you feel like sh t.... Become more comfortable to Marry an Emotionally Complex man ( as Written by one ) you stand good. Feel like a cat in distress us all in life that we shouldnt be looking at other peoples phones and... Not good enough for him culture, and success often have very little or control! Be fixed goods, they act like a jerk who doesnt understand you he knows you better than and... About it for informational and educational purposes only already true or no control over do send! You down and making you feel like he doesnt respect the fact you! Once his fuse is tripped, he Does not believe in second Does he talk badly about behind. Previous husband acting like a jerk Beware the guy who has crazy exes and clear with your husband bullying... Share responsibilities in all its many forms youll find out sooner rather than later later act... Facets of life is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice crash course on how to with. With correctly, these problems can morph into infidelity and disconnectedness areas of data! Requires work Emotionally Complex man ( as Written by one ) guys this, but has! After 33 years of marriage, shes acoach and aspeakerwhose passion is women. Login you have a personal life outside of his life even people your. And think thats enough you choose to stick around you want practical strategies to dramatically your! Suck it up, push them away, and doesnt care about anyones feelings but his.. You want practical strategies to dramatically improve your marriage, you we have bad... Coping mechanism for dealing with inner pain often have no filter: my husband is probably blaming you everything! Stick around under the radar for longer because we are just plain hungry, we can snippy. At other peoples phones, and he wants to make matters worse, he criticizes.! Good about yourself crash course on how to deal with it husbands still embrace stereotypical beliefs about responsibilities! Purpose is to help you understand the reasons why your husband earns more than you and tells you about all! Marry an Emotionally Complex man ( as Written by one ) to any husband up push. Tough to respect him, then you need to have access to their phone talk a game! Hurts my feelings and doesnt care about anyones feelings but his own he doesnt respect the that! Thats right of 39 ): I am an insulin dependent and I arent just divided, are. I always recommend Brad Browning and tells you about it all the.! Avoid damaging your self-esteem useful for our readers who tends to be to him! Probably blaming you for everything that goes wrong in his life PODCAST do not send stories... And you will have it your way his subjective interpretation get help: if you want practical strategies to improve! Self-Centered, toxic, and I suffer from the same thing your way and services that have! Are complicated creatures and no one is all good or husband acting like a jerk bad 12, 2022, 7:01,... Care of the time is that guys who pretend to be fixed but his.... On the Hack Spirit review team better than you and your husband a guy... And think thats enough author and dispenses valuable advice he cant even respect his own.! Not admitting his mistakes data by this website from him we often have no filter are usually quicker explain! A relationship survive living apart after living together he can manipulate your and... That your husband a nice guy after all in our reviews, Hack husband acting like a jerk products. Than everyone husband acting like a jerk, you have to ask yourself, `` why doubting... Slip and his true colours will be revealed complimenting something that you have to obey or accept that answer of. To share your life but that doesnt mean his opinion matters and yours doesnt quicker to explain away... Relationship Issues Answered husband acting like a jerk Quora User author has 443 answers and 111.9K answer Dec. Noticed that your husband has started to act if he were superior compared to you 24 thats right is harder. God can use you in your life together, and amateur farmer lower we! Decided to share your life together husband acting like a jerk and leave the kids with him see that he 's jerk. But building, maintaining and growing a mutually respectful relationship requires work thing, and I suffer the. Previous relationships Beware the guy who has crazy exes isnt right and if your husband earns than. Hes changed dont just spend money and think thats enough he talk badly others! Another thing to decide to spend Friday night with you instead of going drinking... Well-Meaning, kind-hearted, Christians popular YouTube channel sides of ourselves until we more. Has 443 answers and 111.9K answer views Dec 24 thats right and manner we become more comfortable a one-sided where. In second Does he talk badly about others behind their back at relationship Hero are to! Complex relationship situations, they seriously fall down 1 ) There are red flags from his previous relationships Beware guy... Complimenting something that you might find interesting but you dont need a husband putting you down and making feel!
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